Walking the Street

 Today, for the first time, I think I understood the frustration of objectification.

In the past, I've accepted that, as sexual beings, humans will express sexual interest in others -- and it's normal. But today was a little bit different. It wasn't someone on Grindr asking for a nude. It was a stranger on the street who seemed nice at first but who used a variety of tactics to try to "warm me up" before propositioning. It meant that I couldn't trust appearances; or at least not from strangers.

First, he tried to develop a personal relationship with me. The first nickname was "Harry Potter." Then the slight flattery of "Has anyone told you that you look like David Radcliffe?" (Actually, I'm not sure that's a complement). Then he asked where I was from and some details about my life. It seemed like a trust exercise more than anything else. At least, I couldn't see him tucking away those details about my life away somewhere and then trying to break into my bank account. At times I felt slightly uncomfortable, such as when he asked my birthday and how long I was planning to stay in LA, but overall I was more interested in figuring out why he wanted to talk to me.

He talked about how the area wasn't necessarily the safest and how it's not the best to walk alone if you don't know the area. I was curious what I could learn from someone who had been in the area for 20 years. He mentioned that he knew the owner of a Mediterranean restaurant and implied that I'd be able to eat there for free if I wanted to. He gave me a water bottle and some Oreos. He said that he was working on Horror acting and asked me to follow him on Instagram. (Since this happened early on, I thought maybe he was just trying to get more clout online. He mentioned that he had 2k followers, but afterwards I found out that most of them were Russian bots). He talked about being a former bodybuilder photographer and doing steroids at the time. I guess at this point, together with the acting bit, the back of my mind was thinking that he probably was not straight. But I just thought he was a friendly older man who didn't have much else to do except talk to people.

I walked with him for about 15 minutes, talking about these things, but before I left he asked to take a picture together. In a minute or so, I would realize that he wanted the picture so he could ask me to send it to him.

When I was about to leave he came close and whispered, "If you're looking to make some money, I'll give you $150 for a blowjob." 

And that's when I understood everything that had happened. It was all just him chasing after the hope that I'd blow him. It made sense, but I was still confused. Did that mean that he didn't really just enjoy talking? He wasn't attractive to me. Should I feel flattered? Embarrassed? Offended?

As I walked away he kept calling to me from the bus stop he was waiting at. "Don't forget to send me the picture!" I kept holding a thumbs up back at him as he kept calling back to me. I scrambled with my phone to figure out where to go as my battery dropped to 5%. 

I messaged my friend hoping that he would come down and get me out of there before my battery ran out. Google Maps stuttered as my iPhone throttled the CPU usage. Where was I supposed to go? I wanted to be indoors and somewhere safe and away from strangers. Finally I saw Kevin come down, and I scrambled into the apartment.

"Why did he talk to me?"