What are we calling it?

 Today, for the first time, I think I understood the frustration of objectification. In the past, I've accepted that, as sexual beings, humans will express sexual interest in others -- and it's normal. But today was a little bit different. It wasn't someone on Grindr asking for a nude. It was a stranger on the street who seemed nice at first but who used a variety of tactics to try to "warm me up" before propositioning. It meant that I couldn't trust appearances; or at least not from strangers. First, he tried to develop a personal relationship with me. The first nickname was "Harry Potter." Then the slight flattery of "Has anyone told you that you look like David Radcliffe?" (Actually, I'm not sure that's a complement). Then he asked where I was from and some details about my life. It seemed like a trust exercise more than anything else. At least, I couldn't see him tucking away those details about my life away somewhere and th

下面是我大学二年级写的文章，大致是我第一次感觉我可以用中文来表达自己的内心感受。当时我感觉我只能用中文讨论我的宗教和家庭背景，这样我可以更客观地探索自己的心情，慢慢地写下自己的想法。我要是写一句英文，立刻就有条件反射，心里感觉不舒服，然后不愿意继续写 。当然，有中文功课的deadline也是一个明确的动力！ 我刚看了原本的文章，也发现了很多没意识到的毛病。我已经很努力把文章改得稍微通顺一点，可是相信下面的还是有很多毛病，只好请您多宽容一点。逗号句号都是乱写的·····我真不会写文章 🙂 ～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～ 我看过很多书，其中对我最影响最大是基督教的圣经。说实话，我想不起其他让我改变那么多的书，它给我留下很深刻的印象。我小的时候，每个礼拜日，为了听布道、看朋友、唱歌，我家人都会去做礼拜。 星期日早上正是我们准备去教堂的时间。我得把衬衫下摆塞进牛仔裤，然后系皮带。进入了教堂的门口以后，我就会无意识看到谁重视而谁不重视做礼拜：有的人只穿日常穿的衣服，或者只是比平常好一点的衣服。 我妈妈说我们要穿好衣服是因为星期日很特别。虽然去教堂、看圣经、祈祷都很重要，可是最重要的总是信耶稣，让他把你从罪中拯救出来。 我们听布道的每一次，来到教堂的人都会循着念圣经的牧师悄悄地看书。我妈妈帮助我，动着食指指示我们在念的那一行。  我后悔的事不是很多，我也对不少人感到感恩。但是想到我小的时候，不会感到很开心，我也不知道为什么。我上小学的时候，我和我兄弟姐妹不会每天出门到学校，而是会留在家里上学。我父母这么做是想保护我们，防止我们接触外面世界的坏。当时我妈妈是我们的老师，我爸爸是一个软件工程师。我爸爸一直劝我学好数学、科学。既然受到了家庭教育，我就可以按自己的速度学习课程而进步更快一些。 我妈妈人很好，很喜欢帮我们忙。她自己少年可能有点孤独。她提过几次自己的少年，说她想多生几个孩子是因为自己的独生女经历，小时觉得有个伙伴该多好。我也记得好几次，我爸爸觉得妈妈把某件事情弄错了会骂：“正常人没有这样的问题！”或者”我们房子怎么又弄脏了！“。那时我还小，中学都没上。 一听他这么说，我就感到难过，心里觉得爸爸对妈妈很不公平。即使妈妈做事没有符合爸爸的要求，那种话特别不友好，肯定不是圣经教的。 在过去几年来，虽然我没有听爸爸说类似的话，但是这些记忆还是留在我的脑海里。我

'Tis the season for New Year's resolutions -- time to eat keto, embrace cardio, speak fluent Spanish, and seize that promotion by the horns. Go get 'em cowboy! Unfortunately, the reality is that most of us fail to keep the goals we set for ourselves each year. Maybe you've made the same resolution to lose weight in previous years, but you're convinced that this time will be different. Or maybe you already know that your resolution won't hold through February. Before you embark on your 2021 journey toward self-improvement, this post will help you think about whether you're setting the right goals and equip you with some simple tools to stay motivated throughout the process. Reasons for Failure In order to set ourselves up for success, it's important to understand why we fail to keep our goals. I've come up with four main reasons for this, which roughly align with the results from scientific studies analyzed here . 1. Vague goals 2. Oversized  expect

Everything is Meaningless “Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.” Wisdom is Meaningless 16 I said to myself, “Look, I have increased in wisdom more than anyone who has ruled over Jerusalem before me; I have experienced much of wisdom and knowledge.” 17 Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind. For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief. Pleasure is a Ghost I said to myself, “Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good.” But that also proved to be meaningless. 2 “Laughter,” I said, “is madness. And what does pleasure accomplish?” 3 I tried cheering myself with wine, and embracing folly—my mind still guiding me with wisdom. I wanted to see what was good for people to do under the heavens during the few days of their lives. When I found pleasure, it escaped me, and my days

If you tell someone that you’re learning Chinese, they might ask you, “So, are you learning Cantonese or Mandarin?” Over the years, there’s been some contention about whether or not “Chinese” is a language, and I’ve heard the claim that Chinese isn’t a language several times in my own life. So, which one is it? Is “Chinese” a language or not? The truth is, if you’re studying any of China's 276 indigenous dialects , you’re studying Chinese! At least, you are according to most Chinese people.  Depending on who you ask, Chinese has between 7 to 10 distinct language groups. From a linguistic perspective, these groups are more like separate languages than dialects, but they are still widely considered to belong to a single Chinese language, if only as part of a common cultural/political identity. (It's been said that  a language is a dialect with an army and a navy .) The two most common dialects to study are Mandarin and Cantonese, but they only represent a fraction of China’s lin

In a recent New York Times essay  in the Modern Love column, Meher Ahmad writes about her struggles with interracial dating growing up in America as an ethnic Pakistani. She shares some compelling anecdotes in the process, but ultimately concludes that her mother was right about dating non-Pakistanis. Of her and her boyfriend, she writes, "we wouldn’t have the relationship we have if he weren’t [brown]." To be completely honest, my first reaction to the article was surprise. I didn't think that the New York Times would print something that was  against interracial dating. But her story is important because it highlights some important truths about a certain type of minority experience in the United States. One of the first major themes of the article is Ahmad's self-realization that her interest in white boys (or, later, non-brown men) was problematic. (Aside: I think the word "problematic" is a fun, versatile wrapper we use to bundle up problems that invo